Elli Mayhem (ellimayhem) wrote in weirdospam,
Elli Mayhem
ellimayhem
weirdospam

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But I don't like SPAM!

So for some odd reason I had over 1000 hits on my MySpace profile between Friday and now, and of course this comes with the itenerant friend requests, comments, and messages filling my inbox like a plague of disease infested wildebeasts.

I generally made my account there as an extension of Operation Pimp My Demo Reel. And I did get a handful of "wow, great/excellent/awesome demo reel!" comments which are the ones I like to get. But of course I had to wade through a bazillion idiots going "durrrrr you're purrrrrty want 2 have sexx0rs" to find them.

And so I present you here with the best of the worst.

my reactions in italics

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The influx began with a comment from Mike:

you are very hotttt

You are very redneckkk

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Night of the Living Rednecks continued with this stellar addition from Gary:

Saw your pic.. you're quite sexy.. very hot!! would love to photograph you...

Like many of the pathetic horny bastards on MySpace, both Mike and Gary are in need of remedial Shift key usage 101.

***********************

Another Mike, another shiftkeypalegic:

love the pics its a bit dark but sexy hope to talk if ya want see ya.

Sure, we can talk sometime after my lobotomy in the spring.

********************


Geoff, who seems to have passed an additional year of grade school English compared to his predecessors on the wall of shame here, initially had a picture that was obviously a "me with my girlfriend" pic up when he wrote me the following. OOPS! He has since changed it to a redneckey looking fishing pic. Even more attractive:

I that you are absolutely beautiful!!! I was woundering if you had any more pictures because I would love to see them

Thanks
Geoff

I will do anything for them

Anything? Really? OK. If you tie your head up in a plastic bag and asphyxiate yourself I *might* consider sending a pic of my ass to your girlfriend congratulating her on her loss.

********************


Next we have Logan, who suffers the opposite of shiftkeypalegia:

I GOT SEE MORE OF THAT FINE ASS(THAT SHIT IS TIGHT) IF YOU GOT ANY PICS NOT ACCEPTABLE FOR MYSPACE GO AHEAD AND SEND THEM TO ME

L_SETLER@HOTMAIL.COM

MAYBE WE CAN TRADE LET ME KNOW EITHER WAY WE CAN ALEAST CONVERSE ON MYSPACE

LOGAN

HI! I'M LOGAN AND I'M A CAPLOCKAHOLIC.
HI LOGAN!

(Note: He provided an email address. Feel free to abuse him for his stupidity. Send him some Zombie Goat Bukakke or some shit. Have fun!)

********************

Next up is Sherwin:

i like your style
Body: glam meets goth...i like it. i'd also liek to write that i would love to eat your pussy.
have a goodnight.

sherwin

Awwwwww, look it's trying to communicate like it was people! My glam goth pussy is a delicacy you aren't good enough for, bubba!


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Next, the aptly named Juvenal writes:

nice picture are you a party girl
While brevity may be the soul of wit, Juvenal has the soul of a MySpace Tard.

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Finally, in a refreshing change of pace! Genesis* writes:

ew you make me sick!

OH NOES! I have been PWNED by an ugly prepubescent twat onteh intarwebs! Well, my life is just freakin' OVER now. Where's the pills and the wine????

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Well, that's the best of them. The rest are mostly too short and stupid to justify the copy/paste effort in mockability. And a handful were actually praise of my art and reel, or people who were actually cool and not hitting on me.

Why yes I did provide links to the profiles! Be merciless, amigos.
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